dear Gabrielle,

I miss the days when you could meet someone for the first time, teach them something new, and then drive aimlessly around for hours in the early morning just talking about anything and everything.  I've been thinking a lot lately (what's new, right?) and I feel like I have so much internal conflict.  I feel guilty of so much.  I am guilty of so much.  It's so hard to just be who I know I'm meant to be.

There are two things I've written that draw emotion out of me almost every time, a poem and a song.  The poem is Breaking Trends, which I wrote in 2005.  I may have shown it to you before.  It amazes me out how wise I was at that age.  I mean, it's obviously not the wisest thing anyone has ever written, but it means a lot to me.  The song is burn + dodge, which I started writing Novemberish last year and finished/recorded this year.  It's about a girl, but when I listen to it I'm just reminded of the past in general, when things were simpler and innocent.  I've met so many people and messed up so many relationships, and this song is a reminder that things weren't always this way.  There were days when I didn't treat friends like they weren't good enough, when I showed more respect to my family, when I didn't use women and make them feel like dirt.  I wish I could go back, but I can only go forward.  Maybe I'll find forgiveness one day, from others, from myself.  Or maybe I'll just have to live on despite the guilt I have.

I just want to meet someone, anyone, and drive around aimlessly, talking for hours about anything and everything.

No quote this time.  You have a song and a poem instead.  Sorry.

sincerely,

vm